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CULTURE OVER GOSPEL!

It is hard to really be a Christian in our culture, or at least that's what I finding out for myself. It is a lot easier for me to take the Gospel and fit it to my way of living than to allow the Gospel to change me and my lifestyle. This is hard to admit because my EGO really likes to be labled as a Christian, but the more I walk on this journey of life, the more I am moving to an awareness of the reality that I am not Christian, not if being a Christian is following Jesus and not the whims of our society. Let me try to explain my tension (with some issues, if I'm honest, the tension isn't evenr there with others) with trying to be more orthopraxis (right actions) than orthodoxy (right belief).

Let me start with an easy one. When I step on a scale or am out of breath when I tie my shoe, I know I am not living the gospel. "Give me my daily bread" has become lip service as I sometimes eat my weekly bread in one day, instaed of being satisfied with less, I eat oh so much more than I need. How much more I could help the hungry if I only ate my daily bread.

Let me move to a harder one. I use to carry a rock in my pocket to remind me to stop judging others. I sort of pride myself with not being judgemental but I am. I can get so passionate about issues that I believe need to be justly implimented that I can think that people who don't work to bring them about are against me, but at the same time, get angry with others who do the same to me. I need to instead, be like Jesus who knew how to doodle in the sand and respond instaed of reacting. I need to "hold the tensioin" and not be so quick to have the answers. It is one of the hardest things for me to do, but when I do, things can become oh so clearer to me.

Our culture has become so "fear based" that we tend to do things that are so far away from the Gospel that I can't see Christ in its midst. More money is spent to make,sell, and buy weapons both as a nation and as individuals than in trying to feed the hungry yet we call ourselves Christians. We fail to hear Jesus' words, "BE NOT AFRAID" and we let our insecurities have power over our decesion making process. I would like one day for all us Christians take back the Gospel and truly try to "put away our swoards" and love as Jesus showed us and to trust like he did in the face of death. I do feel though, that it has to start with me. I must not yell, point fingers or name-call, but do my part to disarm my heart of all violence and allow the AGAPE love of the Cross to be my only weapon against hate.

I truly am a want-to-be Christain and I know I can't be one alone. I need Christ and I need a community that like the early Church refused to bear arms as their Mater taught them. In this year, which the Church has titled the Year of Faith, I will with God's help grow to become more and more the Christian God wants me to be. Let's pray for all people that we will be known by our love, by OUR LOVE.

I love you,
Randy

A CHRISTMAS GIFT!

On December 25th, we who claim to be Christians celebrate the gift of the Incarnation, the day when our God became one of us. It has been a tradition for awhile to celebrate the ultimate Gift of Love by giving gifts to each other. On Christmas day 1924 this world was given the gift of Margarette a woman who I much later had the honor of meeting. This reflection is how this wonderful gift of human life which lived hear on earth for almost 79 years helped me as I reached out to help her. I met Margarette when her life on earth almost at its end. Her son asked me about doing her funeral and I said yes and than asked him if she would like me to visit. He said yes and the wonderful journey began between two individuals who walked this earth that hadn't the fainest notion that each other existed. I have to admit I was super nervous when I first went to her house to visit, but I sooned found out I had no reason to fear, for this was not a Randy thing but a God thing. We both put each other at ease and our short lived earthly relationship started. She was the most authentic person I had and I soon realized that our time together would be a blessing for both of us. Having lived a very hard but rewarding life, she knew the end was near and needed me to simply be present to her and help her come to terms with the inpending leap of faith that we all will someday have to take. We met weekly for a few months and I saw her come to terms with her present inpending death but also with her life and all its sucesses and failures. I could with each visit, see her let go more and more of the faer of death and embrace the uncertainty of the uncharted journey with hope and faith. In the midst of a training class at work, I got a call from her son, letting me know that death was knocking at her door. I left work and rushed to her room and after stroking her hair and just being with her and her family, she surrendered her breath and soared to be with God. Her son told me that he thought she waited till I got there to lket go. Reflecting on her life Christmas mornbing sitting by her tomb and also talking to her, I saw clearly the wonderful Christmas Gift I received by being given the oppertunity to minister to Margarette and allow her to minister to me. She empowered in me a gift that I didn't know I had until she helped me unwrap it in the short time I was graced to spend time with her. Since her journey home, I have shared that gift with a few others. If it would not have been for Magarette allowing me to be a part of her journey home, I first and foremost would of never met this remarkable lady but I also would have not known that my presence is a gift and shared it with so many since she entered eternity. I thank God for Magarette, our Christmas Gift. I love you, Randy

JUSTICE AND PEACE

I find it very ironic that on the feast day of Francis of Assisi, a man who lived the Gospel and work with every ounce of his being for peace, shared his feast day with the tragic news that Fr. Roy Bourgeois another peace maker was stripped of his preistly powers by the Vatican's pressure on the Maryknoll order on October 4th 2012. . Why?

No he didn't promote militaryism and war or the destruction of human life which is sacred from the womb to the tomb, but because he promoted the dignity of women and their call to priestly orders. It is amazing to me that the Church has watered down Christ's teachings of non-violence by promting the Just War Theory and allows the killing of other women, children and men but refuses to even get into dialouge about women priest. We can't justify killing, which is an oxymoron, because killiling is not just. It should be called the "Rationalization War Theory".

I know Roy will continue his work to promote peace and to promote equal rights in our Church. He may not be a priest in good standing but he is a priest by his baptism and no one can take that from him. He is one of my mentors showing me that peace and justice comes with suffering but not suffering inflicted on others. Peace and Justice comes from "picking up our crosses and following the Prince of Peace."

Thanks Roy for your couragous witness and one day history will thank you too.

I love you,
Randy

WHAT DOES THAT TELL ME?

The Tigers of LSU, the team I have embraced as long as I can remember, won a game last night, but you would of never known by the reaction of the announcers during the game. So this morning as I refleced on the game, the announcers, and my reactions to it all, I am struck with a question. What does that tell me?

First, my reflections have once again reminded me of how I let a game and what others say about it, affect me a tab too much. I have grown, in the sense that I don't allow it all to affect the whole week until the next game, but I still give a game way too much power over my life. Idols, still tug at me. It is though growth that I took time to center and listen to God help me learn from the experience.

Second, the Tigers won. They might of not lived up to the announcers' expectations, the fans' expectation, or mine, but they did win. The Tigers can and most likely will approve as a team and as individual players, but to do so, they will have to live in the moment and not listen to others' expectations, instaed learning from the experiences. Learning their strengths and their weeknesses. I too must learn to do the same. I must live in the moment and not try to meet expectations, mine and others, but instaed to practice an awareness of the moment and allow myself to be open to the experience of it, helping others and myself to share the gifts of that unique gift of the present.

Third, although the Tigers perservered and got the win, perfection is not an option. Even if they go undefeated this season and win the National Championship, they still will have room to grow. Their best bet of meeting their goals is to accept their failures and to allow them to stay humble and grow and grow and grow. I too must do this, because beating myself up ove my failures, never encourages me to do better, but sticks me in the past instaed of living in the present. I grow when I allow my failures to be stepping stones to allow me to keep on walking.

I hope that the Tigers have a graet year but mostly I hope that each young man on that team grows from the journey they are blessed to be on. I too hope to grow and to experience joy in each moment of my journey. Good luck to the Tigers and to you on the journey.

Shall we walk?

I love you,
Randy

The Journey to Finding My True Self

"We were not born to make money or accumulate things or get power -- all of which are good but none of which is enough to assure that life as we live it will really be enriching, of importance to someone other than simply ourselves. Discovering what our call is and doing it is the mark of the truly fulfilled and happy life." 

 Following the Path, by Joan Chittister

My life has been a journey of many choices, none of which I regret, because I beleive all were needed to get me to the point I now am. That point is not my destination but it is where I am meant to be right at this moment in my life. I know some of my choices were not made with much praying or discerment and for good reason, because at that time I was not open to surrendering my will to God and to be honest I am further along the path but not there yet. I marvel at our youth who seem to have it figured out at such a young age, when they know they are called to do missionary work before starting their coporate careers.

I thought at a young age that I was called to be a preist and really persued my supposed calling only to be led astray by my unwillingness to live a celibate lifestyle. After 33 years of marriage and two great sons and three beautiful grandkids, I will never regret asking Diane to marry me and becoming a husband and father. I though sometimes wonder if I am truly living my call as a married man or living what I thought was the next available step in my life.

I have been blessed to have had the same job for 32 years and to make the salary that I do, but it is a job not a call. It has served its purpose by allowing my family to have adequte shelter, food and health care and much more but it does not fill completely the "hole in my soul" and that is where the above quote comes in to my heart. I have brought happiness to my wife and sons, at times, and they have to me. I tried and do try to be the husband she wants me to be and the father they deserve but there is still something missing in my depths. 

My diaconate has to a point filled some of that space, allowing me in my poverty to let God's love flow through me to others and hopefully make a difference in other's lives. I just can't get past this yearning to do something else. Sometimes, I think I am called to be a missionary and than I realize I am, my prison ministry is a much needed mission to those in need. I guess what I am saying is that, I am who I am where I am but I will never stop listening to the God who is the only one who can fill the "hole in my soul. I just hope at the end of this journey, even if I feel I haven't answered that call that aches within, that the God who loves will look upon me and say, "Well done good and faithful servant."

I love you,

Randy

CLASSROOM OF LIFE

I am sitting in the parking lot of Our Lady of Prompt Succor Catholic Church which was my church and school for my formative years of my early life, reflecting on many good and bad memories. I could share many of those memories with you but instead I am called in anoither direction. Namely formation.

I am now 55 years old and would like to think that my formation is completed and that I have arrived but this isn't the case. It seems every day that there are classroom times for me to grow in my goal of becoming fully human or fully alive. Every thing I do, everything I experience, and everthing that is done to me is another day in the classroom of life.

The thing that is clear to me but is difficult for me to embrace, is the fact that the learning and growth is up to me alone. The events of this journey can only be helpful in my growth as far as I am willing to do the hard work of being attentive to the lessons that are present in each event. How can I do that? I have to sit with the emotions of the events, bad or good, and let them talk to me, about me, not others and than let the Spirit show me and lead me past them into growth.

Sometimes, like when I was young, I can be very attentive and receive some very needed growth or I can be selfish and want to be the center of attentiion, causing the learning to be disturb, but always there is an opportunuty to grow and with this in mind and heart, I walk forward knowing that with each step, I become more alive. Shall we walk?

I love you,
Randy

MONASTIC PRAYER?

Last night when I was getting ready for bed, I decided to not set an alarm and awaken whenever my body saw fit and then cut the grass. As I was laying in bed, it struck me that I needed to do this as a prayer. In other words, I would take this time and whatever came my way, as an opportunity to listen to God, who is present in all things. The monastics are noted for using all task as prayer, so I decided this morning to be a monk in the world, which by the way, is a book I highly recommend. ( "A Monk in the World: Finding the Sacred in Daily Life" by Wayne Teasdale )

 I awoke and went to eat a light breakfast, thanking God for the gift of another day, and the blessings of this day that I would encounter. After getting dressed and leaving the house, I hopped on my mower and started praying. It was a beautiful morning with a slight coolness in the air and the wind blowing just enough to remind me of the Breath of Life which I share with all of you and with all of humanity. Wow, this thing really works. I can truly say that I felt God's presence as I plowed through the grass and enjoyed a morning with all of God's creation present with me. I saw lizards scrambling to get away from my powerful mower and birds looking down at me tweeting away, despite my disturbance of their territory. Yep, this prayer was going great.

Than as always with me, something went wrong, but oh how different it was than normally. Let me paint a picture for you. I have a beautiful natural yard but it has very soggy areas and while trying to cut one of these areas, I got stuck as always. It was though, different today, not because of me but because of who I spending time with. Yep, God gave me a wonderful different perspective of my being stuck. Instead of seeing it as an aggrivating usual circumstance, I was given the perspective of seeing it as an oppertunity to do something with my FRIEND. Yes, God is our FRIEND! I enjoyed that time with God and enjoyed how God led me to breathe and go with the flow, instead of venting anger that would of only made the situation worse.

On this ride with God, a few things happened that also was a GIFT to me. I planned to go borrow a chain from the church to pull out my mower, but I couldn't get in the the garage. I was locked out, my key that has always worked for some reason, did not today. Once again, instead of huffing and puffing and trying to blow the door down, God and I went to the hardware store. When we got there, I realized that I left my wallet, so back to the house we went, breathing as one on a journey unexpected but very needed. I eventually got the strap to pull my mower out and finish, but I am so happy it didn't go as planned.

Cutting grass with God, riding with God and just being present to each moment of this morning, helped me to see just how much I need to continue walking on this journey with my FRIEND GOD. This walk will not always go as I plan or as God plans, because of my hard headed will or circumstance behind mine or God's control (Free Will  given to me and others by God) but I know clearer, because of this morning, that my FRIEND GOD is with me through it all and God is with all of us no matter what me think of God, OUR FRIEND is ever FAITHFUL to us.

I love you,

Randy